"You wake up in the morning with hope, work hard during the day, and go to sleep at night with gratitude. I don't know who said it, but it's a great saying, isn't it?" This was a message I got from a friend who was a colleague of mine in my first year of working and later went back to his hometown to become a farmer. If I could do that, I'd be truly happy.
But as I read his message, a thought came to me. In my case, it's more like, "I wake up in the morning with a shallow solution to a problem I thought of while sleeping, during the day my self-made ideals and goals are too high and fail as expected, and I go to sleep at night with complaints and tears of regret." It reminds me of the song from the Tora-san movies: "Despite my earnest struggle and efforts... the sun sets today with tears, with tears." (lol)
Well, things just don't go well, do they? Anything and everything. I've been repeating this cycle every day and night for 74 years without getting tired of it!
By the way, I actually love NHK's morning drama series. I can't watch it when I'm in the US or other countries, but when I'm in Japan, I look forward to the daily episodes. I particularly like the current show, "Anpan," a lot. The heroine Nobu and Takashi got married while I was in the US, but I'm watching it now while imagining what happened in the episodes I missed.
Given the kind of life I've lived, as I just described, I feel a little intimidated by a splendid protagonist like Nobu. When she was a child, she was great at sports, then she passed a difficult exam to graduate from a normal school and became a teacher, and as a "mother of a militaristic nation," she encouraged her students. Then, after the war, she reflected deeply and quit teaching to start a new path. On the other hand, I really like how unreliable Takashi is. I feel an endless amount of sympathy for him (he's just like me).
Takashi... "he's really bad at life," isn't he? It's just like my life.
Despite all that... lately, I've been publicly declaring everywhere that I'm "aiming for death by overwork at the age of 115." I plan to live a life full of regrets for another 40 years, so I suppose I'll be a nuisance to those around me. Please bear with me and stick with me.